The funniest news story lead we've seen in a long time was in this paper Thursday morning.
"Hamilton County commissioners are debating restricting access to the balcony in their meeting room, but it's not clear if they're worried about snipers or cellphone cameras."
The debate is just as absurd as you can imagine. The trouble is, it's also a sad, sad commentary on our County Commission.
A resolution on the next week's agenda would prohibit "access onto the press gallery of any non-credentialed news media persons."
That might sound innocuous, but what about ordinary Joes and Janes who believe in open government? What about bloggers who live-stream news with their cellphones? What if they don't work for a commercial news organization?
The "press gallery" is really just a balcony - much like the balconies of courtrooms in many old-style courthouses like ours. (Hamilton County's was dedicated in 1913). Remember the courtroom balcony scene in "To Kill a Mockingbird" when Scout sat with the black people in the only place they were allowed to view the courtroom unless they themselves were on trial?
These days, it's the media - especially bulky television cameras - that occupy the space. The balcony is the perfect spot for showing what goes on in the large room below, mostly county commission meetings.
The rationale for worrying about cellphone bloggers, of course, is being explained as "a security issue."
But it began with a yet another feud involving county officials and one particular county official - Commissioner Tim Boyd.
Boyd attracts the ire of fellow commissioners and the county mayor the way Ben Franklin's kite and key beckoned electricity.
It seems the balcony sitters suddenly need media credentials only a few weeks after Boyd's daughter was in the balcony live-streaming the commission meeting on Facebook. A commissioner on the dais objected that she wasn't with the media. A deputy asked her to go downstairs.
Upset by her ejection, Boyd confronted the deputy, who took the incident seriously enough to write a report on the face-off. Sheriff Jim Hammond's office said the report went to the county attorney's office and would not be publicly released. Boyd told the Times Free Press he wasn't confronting the deputy, only trying to get close enough to whisper to him and not disturb the ongoing meeting. At Wednesday's meeting, Boyd didn't indicate he thought the resolution arose from that incident. But he did ask for a definition of "credentials."
Here's the thing. We at the Times Free Press have asked for more than a year why the commission doesn't already have their meetings live-streamed for you folks out there who can't take off on a workday to go see what the people you elected are doing with your money and your trust. The city of Chattanooga live-streams its council meetings and even saves the video for residents to watch later. Why can't the county do the same?
Over and over, first one then another of the commissioners told us they thought that was a great idea and they would look into it. Nothing ever happened.
The best they can do is tape record the meetings and post the bad-quality audio tapes on the minutes page of the county's government website. If you have a rather modern computer, you can listen. If not, you're still out of luck.
So if Boyd's daughter wants to film the meetings (at least seven are now posted on Boyd's Facebook page), why not? And if the commissioners are worried about editing, maybe they should have an official live-stream contractor like other reasonably open governmental organizations do.
The new proposed "credentialed" access resolution came out of the commission's Legal Committee meeting last week, Commissioner Greg Martin said Wednesday. "Professional media," such as the Times Free Press and local TV news, could use the gallery with no questions asked, according to the resolution. Nonprofessionals such as bloggers, live-streamers and others, could get access by asking the commission chairman 24 hours in advance.
But there's more. Commissioners also will vote Wednesday on a resolution barring people from carrying or displaying signs during meetings. This vote, like the gallery vote, will come a week before the commission's upcoming debates on whether to permit a new and controversial sewage treatment plant off Mahan Gap Road.
Really? Aren't signs just another part of our free speech rights?
Our commissioners are thin-skinned. Chairwoman Sabrena Smedley explained that there is no rule now against signs, though some audience members who waved signs at a recent commission meeting were asked to take them out of the room.
Come on, Hamilton County, get your signs and your cellphones ready for our county's December commission meetings.
Your commissioners need to know what you want, and that you are watching.