A quarter century
Theme show alert. Theme show alert.
Did you know that Tommy Boy turned 25 this spring. Yeah, I feel old too.As Jules noted in the conversation about quotable movies, Tommy Boy is wicked underrated in that category, and not unlike some of the beloved comedies of my lifetime, Tommy Boy was a theatrical flop before becoming beloved on cable and VHS/DVD.
Not sure why Tommy Boy jumped into my head this morning, but it did. As I approach my 50th birthday later this year — again, feeling old this morning — I think it started with a Holy Schnikees when I saw this video. Yes, that video is Terrell Owens — who will be 47 in December and last played in the NFL a decade ago — racing and not looking all that out of place against Tyreek Hill, who is only the fastest WR in the NFL. Again, Holy Schnikees.
So, why not a theme show, right? Right? Who's with me? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Heck no. (Can't you see Spy and Chas playing the roles of Otter and Boone? Spy: "Germans?" Chas: "Forget it. He's rolling.")
It then made me look around and gang, the 1995 movie catalog was KERRR-razy surreal.
Toy Story. Braveheart. Seven. Apollo 13. Usual Suspects. Casino. To Die For. Babe. (Side note: All of those are great, but in terms of quotable lines, I bet I have said "That'll do pig" more than the other seven movies listed combined.)
I can keep going. Comedies: Billy Madison. Friday. The Brady Bunch Movie. Fringe action movies that are entirely rewatchable: Outbreak, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Crimson Tide. And because 1995 was 1995, it even did bad movies bigger and badder than just about anyplace else. Hello, Showgirls.
It was Thursday night must-see TV at its apex as Seinfeld was in season seven and changing gears as it sped toward being one of the best sitcoms ever. Friends was in Season 2 and ER was smoking.
It was — on my 25th birthday no less — the year OJ was found not guilty. The Macarena happened in 1995 too.
And if you think the world has not completely spun around the universe and into places never imaginable, we'll end the 1995 look back with this spanning of time:
Last Thursday was the 25th anniversary of a little company called Amazon, which officially opened its online bookstore doors to the public, according to this.
If you think you have changed in 25 years, well, know this: In 25 years, Amazon went from selling online books to becoming the biggest retailer on the planet to the point that on Monday when Amazon stock rose 8 percent, CEO Jeff Bezos made $13 billion.
On Monday folks. THIRTEEN billion. "Lots of people go to college for seven years. They're called doctors."
"Shut up Richard"
Baseball is back, but it will be strange. Sorry. Where were we? Oh, yeah how strange will baseball be? Well, here's the end of a Braves-Marlins exhibition game last night.
Again, it was an exhibition, but in any other situation — it is July, people — it easily could have been a regular-season Tuesday with 20,000-plus in the stands.
It was a wild finish that I happened to watch live as the teams squared off in Truist Park. The Braves were down 8-1 entering the eighth.
The Braves scored eight in the eight to take a 9-8 lead. The bullpen blew the lead in the ninth — a troubling lead-in to a season that is supposed to be anchored by a rebuilt bullpen, especially considering starter Mike Foltynewicz got shelled too — before Matt Adams delivered a walk-off homer in the bottom half.Sounds great right?
It was surreal, with little excitement and fanfare.
It was great to watch MLBers doing what they do best. Guys you know at a time you can relax — unlike the South Korean baseball some have followed this summer.
But it was lonely. It was isolated. "Brother don't shake hands, brothers gotta hug."
Adams delivered a walk-off homer that capped a dramatic rally from an 8-1 hole to a 10-9 win and there was one guy at home plate waiting for him.
Do not misconstrue this. I am ecstatic that there's a chance in 36 hours we could have a cold CoCola in one hand as we watched Nats-Yankees — "That's a pretty girl down there, I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees?" — blend into Dodgers-Giants and it matters.
Still Bleep off 2020. "My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died. We just killed Bambi!"
Not to overstate things — "I can get a pretty good look at a T-bone if a stick my head up a bull's (bleep), but I'll just take the butcher's word for it" — but we may be staring at the most critical 10 days in the history of college sports.
So let that sink in.
The conversations, the decisions, the possibilities, by next Friday, we will know. "Housekeeping, you want mint for your pillow?"And the options are all over the place.
And few of them look pleasing friends. "Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."
All of the bigwigs who have spoken — from ADs to conference commissioners to everyone in between — has a) said a lot of words but not offered a lot of substance (which makes sense) and b) gotten more and more morose with each passing day.(Side note: We have not heard hardly a peep from Mark Emmert, have we? Betting that's not a coincidence friends. "New guy's in the corner puking his guts out.")
A fact and a fear: This is where we are, and by next Friday, we could be in a place none of us could have ever dreamed.
This and that
— Because we can't really get through a morning with mentioning some form of politics, here is The Action Network's latest presidential odds. And while any poll form any pollster this side of Warsaw can point to just about any outcome, the Vegas odds literally put their money where their stats sit. They have Biden a minus-189 favorite and Trump at plus-175, which means you have to bet $189 on Biden to win $100 and a $100 bet on Trump pays $175. (In terms of probability that puts Biden with a 59.7 percent chance to win.
— According to public filings made by the Green Bay Packers, the lone NFL team that is publicly owned, the 32 NFL teams splits $9.44 billion in TV money. Holy Schinkees, gang. The NFL is a bigger beast than we ever imagined. That's $295 million in TV money alone. Per team friends. Per team. The NFL salary cap is $198.2 million for 2020 and was $188 million last year. So the TV money covers the salary of every player with $100 million left over to cover the rest of operating costs, and that's before a single ticket, hot dog, CoCola, T-shirt, jersey to anything else is ever sold. The NFL should change its abbreviation to ATM.
— Speaking of the NFL, according to this story the league is going to allow players a chance to put the names or initials of people who have suffered from police violence. I understand the intent of people trying to find ways to be part of peaceful change and police reform. But this is an awful idea that continues to set an awful precedent as professional uniforms become anything but uniform. Heck, this is the NFL, which fines people for everything from using a headband with a non-league sponsor's logo on it to a player wanting to wear pink cleats outside of just "Breast Cancer" awareness month after his mother died from that awful disease. What happens if someone wants to put the initials of a police officer who saved a family member's life? Or wants to call attention to sexual harassment in the work place (especially if he plays for Washington)? Or any of the other noble causes that also need attention and support. This is not social awareness; this is an attempt at a social media credit grab from a league that blackballed Kaepernick — then and still — that, in truth, better figure out how it's going to approach the National Anthem pretty dang quick, if my social media feed is any indication.
— I'm just gonna leave this Bud Light commercial here with no comment as not to jinx anything happening later this week. Nope, no Beetlejuice- or Voldermort-type curses here people. (Seriously, the Bud Light ad folks are good at that their gig, no?)
— Hey old-guy retrospective continues with some We Are the World. As we cross out fingers and hope baseball returns, how good is this starting nine out of the gate for the We Are the World video? Lionel Ritchie, Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon, Kenny Rodgers, Tina Turner, Billy Joel, Michael Jackson, Dianna Ross and Dionne Warwick, with Willie Nelson and The Boss following those first nine. Play ball.
— In our continued conversations about journalism and its importance, I ask this looking for the opinions of the smart folks who frequent this space. Short story long: My morning research normally starts with Yahoo.com. That is not a commentary as much as admitting its starting point. This morning at 9 a.m. there was not a single mention among the first 20 stories on Yahoo about the unbelievable shooting scene at a Chicago funeral home Tuesday that left at least 15 injured, with their ages ranging from 21-to-65? Man, Chicago is unhinged right now, and because the "What about Chicago" question has become a political stake, are we supposed to pretend that's not awful in its awfulness. Serious statement of the lengths of that kind of terror? Shots were originally fired at a group attending a funeral, and those attending the funeral pulled out guns and fired back. Imagine, friends living in a world that you needed to be strapped to go to a funeral.
— Friends, you know the rules, if it's about high school sports in this area, TFP sports editor and high school sports guru Stephen Hargis is on it. Follow him on Twitter today @StephenHargis for updates for the all-important TSSAA board of control meeting today.
Which way Wednesday starts this wayWhich Bud Light commercial theme was the best?
Which 1990s buddies comedy was best Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber, Wayne's World, White Men Can't Jump, Beavis and Butthead Do America or Men in Black?
Which SNL cast member was the most underrated?
As for today, well, there are a lot of things, but this one is personal. My momma would have been 74 today.
I miss her.
Rushmore of 'Mom' or 'Mother' or "Momma' in pop culture. Go, and remember the mailbag.