Weekend winners
The Philadelphia Phillies. Wowser, winners of eight straight - and having just completed a four-game sweep of the Mets that reshuffled the NL East - the Phils look dynamite. This is a World Series contender, friends. They have two legit aces in Aaron Nola and Zach Wheeler. They have a better lineup than the Braves with Acuña done for the year. If the bullpen is just average, they are headed to meaningful games in the meaningful "er" months of the baseball calendar.
(Bonus pick: Any Sunday parlay bettors who had Phillies moneyline, Zach Wheeler over 8.5 Ks and Bryce Harper to leave the yard at +1386, which means a bet of $100 returns $1,386 and would, let's say, cover a large part of a family's late-summer vacation to Amelia Island. Side question on the bonus pick: Grown men should not say vacay. OK, that's not a question, per se, but let's move along.)
Kevin Durant. The Slim Reaper saved the States' reputation as the home of basketball. Seriously, that looked more like Carmelo and the Oranges circa 2003 or Manning and the Miracles, circa 1988, than anything remotely resembling a Dream Team. Kudos, KD. His 29 points in the gold-medal game were a single point behind the record, which he also holds. Yes, he joined a super team to get a title, and is part of a super team in Brooklyn now, and his social media habits scream 14-year-old girl more than four-time NBA scoring champ. But dude can ball, and he's laying claim to being the greatest Olympic basketball player ever.
Hall of Fame inductions and the forever grace and example of Peyton Manning. Not to get too corny on this - and I'm not a dyed-Orange-in-the-hinges Johnny Vols Fans by any measure - but if you don't like Peyton, then that's likely a "You" problem. Sure, you can say Brady is better. (Hi, Spy.) And you can giggle about Manning's mark of meaninglessness vs. the Gators (Hi, JTC.) But when an all-time-great sports star is by almost every measure an all-time-great humanitarian, well, that should remind us of what is possible. Chuck Barkley famously said in a shoe commercial back in the day that he was not a role model. He was right. And he was wrong. I wish we had a system that pointed to the real human characteristics of role models. Honor, duty, courage, kindness, charity, honesty. Because those are better role models identifiers than the folks that can put a ball through a metal hoop or sling a leather ball into a five-gallon bucket with 280-pound defensive ends bearing down, whether they called Omaha or not. But the rewards and the fame and the acclaim make the latter more desirable than the former, thus making them role models, whether they want to be or not. But when those physical and personal traits overlap, we should forever celebrate and honor them because those are the ones who are truly Hall of Fame worthy.
Weekend losers
Devin Funchess. The all-too-familiar Asian slurs and gestures came from the Packers WR in a news conference over the weekend. Full disclosure: In my former radio life, I occasionally used a mocking Asian voice. What once was viewed as impressions or attempts at comedy - I don't think that was Funchess' attempt here, however - are out of bounds today, and the errors must be made on the side of caution. Again, Funchess' language and causality with the references were something different, in my opinion. (Side note: On the TV at the condo at Amelia Island last week, there was no cable, just streaming options. The best option on Roku was the Johnny Carson channel, and it was funny. Really funny. And Johnny and Ed and a vast majority of their guests would have been canceled quicker than Morgan Wallen on a weekend bender in this day and time.)
Will Smith. Dude, get your stuff together. Like now. Or Snit needs to pass the ball to Richard Rodriguez sooner rather than later. Like yesterday. Or Saturday, when Will Smith was more Wild Wild West Will Smith than Fresh Prince Will Smith and cost the Braves a sweep of the Nats. (Side question: In the conversation of worst movies of my lifetime - and that conversation must have a disclaimer that for a movie to be really bad it must also have expectations - we cannot overstate the stickiness of "Wild, Wild West.")
Nats and Cubs fans. It was not that long ago that these were World Series winners. Now, these trade-deadline sellers have the look of minor league rosters in major league uniforms. I understand the ways of the world, but that's the rebuild model for small market teams like K.C., Minnesota and Seattle. For markets like Chicago and D.C., especially with a surefire sellout park like Wrigley, cutting the organization is cheap on the grandest of scales.
All of college football. Rest easy, Bobby Bowden. You had a large hand in shaping college football as we know it, and your run in Tallahassee will forever be amazing. And the impact you had on so many - in the game and out of it - by sharing your faith and how you lived will forever be remembered. What a career. What a life.
Bryson DeChambeau. What a clown show. Bryson the Brainless declined print reporters all week because of the response to his statements about not getting vaccinated. Hmmmmmm, so you say something - and say it proudly, which is certainly your right and prerogative - but you clearly don't have the conviction to stand behind it and then shun a required part of your job. (Hey PGA Tour, you better fine his goof-hat-wearing tuckus, or you don't have a hair on your hinny.) Then Bryson was unavailable to the media after Sunday's meltdown in the final group that included two balls in the water, a 4-over 74 from the final group. This coming on a weekend when Lord Dipstick refused to yell "Fore" after wayward tee shots, too. At least Naomi Osaka said she had mental health issues when refusing to talk to the press; DeChambeau's just gutless. And I don't care if he hits it 4 miles, he's a punk. (Side note: One bad thing about the PGA's new setup to financially reward players for creating social media buzz and being in the headlines is that Bryson's poor form is actually benefiting his bottom line. Hope he buys all the dorky hats he can carry.)
That's a wrap
NBC has to be hand-wringing about the numbers from these Games, which closed over the weekend.
Almost all of the lowest-rated nights of Olympics coverage on record came over the last two weeks.
Last Thursday's coverage averaged 13.3 million viewers, down 42%, from 2016. The previous low for any Summer Olympics night on record was 14.6 million - which happened last Wednesday.
The six smallest prime time TV audiences on record and 10 of the bottom 11, according to sportsmediawatch.com, have come from these games, and here's betting Friday and Saturday will add to those numbers..
And yes, Chas noted that TV ratings are down across all metrics. For example, there are 20 million fewer cable subscribers, but the NBC numbers reflect all platforms - including streaming and online viewing - and there have been a couple of meaningless sporting events over the summer that have seen increases.
The Home Run Derby had 7.13 million viewers - or more than half the homes that watched the Olympics on Thursday - making it the most-watched Derby since 2017. The NFL Hall of Fame game, which was dreadful football, averaged 7.32 million viewers, making it the most-watched preseason game since '17.
By every measure, these games got a tin medal, at best.
This and that
- Speaking of the golf, Baylor School alum Harris English was in the final group with DeChambum on Sunday. English shot a 3-over 73 and missed the playoff by one shot. It was a tough finish in a tournament in which English has always played well. But with class and dignity, English walked right over to CBS interviewer Amanda Balionis to answer for his round and the slow-play warning that noticeably changed his game on the back nine.
- You know the rules. Wow, if you were trying to read Paschall's prose over the weekend, well, you may have just wrapped it up. Here's his home page for all the college football knowledge he offered this weekend. Among those is the curious case of Scott Cochran taking a leave of absence from the UGA coaching staff - at a very peculiar time, mind you - and being replaced by Will Muschamp.
- The crew putting in our pool started today. Giddy-up.
Today's question
Multiple-choice Monday starts this way:
What is the memorable image from these Games?
- Simone Biles not competing;
- Suni Lee overachieving;
- Carli Lloyd being the only USWNT member standing for the pregame anthem;
- Crowdless venues?
- Other.
As for today, Aug. 9, let's review.
Sam Elliott is 77. Beef, it's what's for dinner. Side note: Sam Elliott is going to be part of the "Yellowstone" prequel. Good times.
Nixon resigned on this day 47 years ago.
Whitney Houston would have been 58 today.
Back to the front. What's Sam Elliott's Rushmore, and it may be better than you know.