Vols quarterback details battle with depression at start of Mental Health Awareness Month

University of Tennessee quarterback Brian Maurer shared his battles with anxiety and depression on his Instagram account Friday, which coincided with the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Month.

Maurer, who played in eight games and made four starts for the Volunteers as a freshman in 2019, even detailed his intention to commit suicide earlier this year.

"On Wednesday, Jan. 22, 2020, I planned to take my own life," Maurer posted. "I thought I had lost my battle with depression and that my pain had come to an end. As I was going to do it, I said, 'God, if this isn't your plan for me, please send me a sign.'

"Two minutes later, my mom called me with my baby nephew, Jeremiah, and said she was just calling to say she loved me. I then knew that by ending my pain, I would be causing so much more to the people who loved me."

Maurer urged those in a similar situation to "reach out to receive help." The 6-foot-3, 195-pounder from Ocala, Florida, said he has battled anxiety and depression since middle school.

"In the seventh grade, my father was sentenced to 25 years in prison around the same time my mom and stepdad split up, causing me to have to grow up early," he wrote.

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In honor of may being mental health month I’m encouraging everyone to seek help but also to speak up and to share their stories, here’s my story since the 7th grade i have struggled with anxiety and depression this battle has been long and hard it has been an everyday battle , In the 7th grade my father was sentenced to 25 years in prison, around the same time my mom and stepdad split up causing me to have to grow up early In the 9th grade me and my mom decided it would be best if i moved in with my grandmother while she moved for a little bit causing even more depression as i was no longer with my mom and my younger sister Junior year of highschool one of my best friends committed suicide and i had never felt so low in my entire life one as of the strongest people i have ever know lost his battle . Dewayne ALWAYS had a smile on his face and was always telling me i was gonna be something great. At this point i knew i was in trouble but i still refused hell from anyone Senior year of highschool I lost 2 friends to gun violence i slipped even deeper into a black hole and I turned to everything else but seeking help I was embarrassed to be like this , I always thought that as a guy i had to have tough skin and not to let anything bother me I thought i needed to stay strong for my family and that they couldn’t see me down and that I was their shoulder to cry on. I always thought i needed to be the shoulder for people to cry on when deep down i was screaming for help On Wednesday January 22 , 2020 i planned to take my own life , i though i lost my battle with depression and that my pain had come to an end as i was going to do it i looked up and i said “god if this isn’t your plan for me please send me a sign” 2 minutes later my mom called me with my baby nephew Jeremiah and she said she was just calling to say she loved me , i then knew that by ending my pain i would be causing so much more to the people who loved me. Please reach out to receive help, mental health is a very serious matter and there is hope for you ! I along with everyone around you stand with you, you have the strength to deal with this. Please keep fighting you got this . #longlivewayne

A post shared by Brian Maurer (@brianmaurer18) on May 1, 2020 at 7:23am PDT

Maurer said he was a junior at West Port High School when he lost one of his best friends to suicide. He added that two more of his friends died as the result of gun violence the following year.

"I always thought that, as a guy, I had to have tough skin and to not let anything bother me," Maurer wrote.

A four-star recruit in Tennessee's 2019 signing class, Maurer completed 35 of 75 passes for 541 yards with two touchdowns and five interceptions while appearing in eight games and starting four last season. Two of Maurer's starts were against Georgia, which included a 73-yard touchdown pass to Marquez Callaway, and Alabama, which included a 2-yard score off a quarterback sneak.

Maurer had to leave the Alabama game due to injury late in the first quarter, but his rushing touchdown was the first by a Tennessee quarterback against the Crimson Tide since Casey Clausen's in 2003.

Contact David Paschall at dpaschall@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6524. Follow him on Twitter @DavidSPaschall.