With respect to Jane Austen, if it is not a truth universally acknowledged that once your friends start having children your relationship with those friends will change drastically, then it should be.
I thought about this while watching the new film “Friends With Kids,” which examines the dynamics of relationships, both romantic and platonic, once children begin coming into the picture. I, of course, reflected on how my own relationships and social dynamics have been affected as more friends begin to have kids.
I also recalled a letter sent to advice columnist Carolyn Hax that raised a lot of hackles. A childless adult questioned/challenged why friends with kids no longer seem to have any time, and apparently, a lot of people, parents especially, took offense to this.
Certainly, any reasonable person ought to realize that a child is going to bring about a drastic life change, whether you are the one having the child or your friend is. That tiny little creature will become the center of a parent’s universe, and rightfully so.
With that paradigm shift, however, comes changes in relationships with friends, which are often central elements of our 20s and 30s. Once the babies start coming, there is an inevitable change in dynamic, particularly if one friend has children and the other does not. Of course, marriage causes the same type of shift, but not to the same degree.