In her commencement address to the students at the University of California, Berkeley, Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook and author of “Lean In,” said that, instead of sharing what she had learned about life, she would tell them what she learned in the midst of death.
Sandberg’s husband died unexpectedly in 2015. During the many months she was swallowed by grief, she learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss. She learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, find the surface and breathe again. She also learned that in the face of challenges you can choose joy and meaning.
She expressed her wish that the students could learn lessons of hope and strength amidst all of the day’s joy.
“Everybody has experienced some disappointment you will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity,” she said.
In the midst of the adversity, what do you do next? The easy days will be easy; it is the hard days that challenge you to your very core, that determine who you are. You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.