DEAR ABBY: My man of three years and I are at a crossroads. He has gone from boyfriend to fiance, back to boyfriend, to friend, to I don’t know what he is now. He showers me with gifts that don’t mean a lot to me. I thank him and reciprocate.
What matters more to me are gestures like checking to make sure I get home safely, accepting and acknowledging my friends, acknowledging me on Mother’s Day, asking how my day was, taking me out from time to time instead of always saying he doesn’t want to go.
I have explained to him time and time again how I want to be treated, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I have given him chance after chance to get it right, to no avail. I am tired of this. It’s like we’re speaking different languages. Is it time for me to move on? – IMPATIENT IN ALABAMA
DEAR IMPATIENT: Yes, it is. If, after three years, your man still hasn’t gotten the message that material things are unimportant to you, and being treated with consideration is paramount, then it isn’t GOING to happen. He isn’t the man for you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 34-year-old female who still lives with her dad. When I start a job search, he says things like, “You’ve got your bachelor’s degree; you’ll be fine!” or, “You’re a hard worker; you’ve got this job in the bag!” Then my hopes are raised, only to be dashed when the rejection letters arrive, which makes me feel angry and useless.