DEAR ABBY: I grew up in an extremely conservative, rural area of northeast Mississippi in the ’60s. I came out as gay to my mom when I was 13 in 1970, and she said three things to me that set the course for a lifetime of love. As she hugged me, she said, “I will always love you, no matter what.” Then, looking me straight in the eye, she thanked me for my honesty before again pulling me into her arms and whispering, “I’ve known since you were a small boy.”
I was overwhelmed by her acceptance, not to mention her validating words, and we wept together. Our relationship became so much closer and stronger. I never missed calling her every day of her life. We shared our ups and downs, our dreams, failures and successes. Most of all, we laughed – a lot.
We traveled together nationally and internationally. And when she became ill, I returned to the small town where I grew up and looked after her until her death at 87. We had a wonderful final six years together.
My mother was obviously before her time. I’m sure many coming-out stories don’t end this well, especially in Mississippi during the ’60s. But it does go to show how well it can be handled and the benefits of handling it properly. Just wanted to share, Abby. – OUT AND PROUD IN LOUISIANA
DEAR OUT AND PROUD: Thank you for your heartwarming letter, which I am printing today, National Coming Out Day. It brought to mind a letter I published in 2007 from a woman who, to her regret, was very late to accept her gay son. Read on: