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Hanukkah stampsA woman goes to the post office and asks for 50 Hanukkah stamps.“What denomination?” asks the clerk.The woman says, “Six Orthodox, 12 Conservative and 32 Reform.”Hanukkah foodOne Hanukkah, a husband said to his wife, “I think there’s something wrong with these latkes, dear. They taste awful.” His wife replied, “That shows you what you know. The recipe book says they’re delicious.”Hanukkah smartsAriel took latkes to school for lunch during Hanukkah.“These,” he told his friend Daniel, “are what makes Jews so smart.”“Let me try one then,” said Daniel.“Tell you what. I’ll sell you one for $5,” answered Ariel.So Daniel gave him $5 and bit into the latke. “Hey, there’s nothing special about this!” he exclaimed.“It must be working already,” said Ariel.
Headlines
These holiday “headlines” were concocted by the satirists at The Onion. They are completely fabricated, but they have the ring of truth.
-Coal Now Too Expensive To Put in Christmas Stockings
-Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think