Surviving summer away-camp can be one of the most stressful, emotional, gut-wrenching times, with feelings of abandonment, separation anxiety and just downright fear taking over. The first night is the worst, but subsequent ones can be just as bad. Especially when the lights go out.
Some people have night sweats and some break out in hives, while others cry themselves to sleep each night.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. It can be a time of adventure; a time to try new foods, go for a hike, or maybe tackle an art project you’ve never done before. It can be a time for hanging out with friends, or starting that journal you’ve been meaning to get to.
In other words, sending your precious child away for a week can be fun.
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For parents, the most heart-racing, adrenaline pumping moments happen when you let go and watch your child try something on their own. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help them prepare.The following are tips families with first-time campers can use to help make sure their child is ready (and Mom and Dad, too).1. Be positive. As parents, it is important to focus on the positive aspects of camp. Remember that separation is natural, necessary and inevitable. What better place to have that first experience than in a caring and nurturing environment designed specifically for children? Parents can also focus on the benefits of camp — an experiential education like no other, teaching valuable 21st century survival skills like leadership, teamwork, problem-solving and interpersonal communication.2. Don’t forget about your other kids. Bob Ditter, family therapist and one of the nation’s leading experts on camp, cautions it is likely that the child left at home will experience separation anxiety and truly miss their sibling. To help them prepare, be sure to talk about the upcoming separation. Before the eldest child leaves for camp, take a picture of your children together that the sibling can keep in their room or carry around. Remind your children about the communication they can have with each other through letters and postcards.3. Bring everyone in. Let family members know how to contact the camper through letters and care packages, and make sure they are aware of any communication policies the camp may have, e.g. no phone calls, or restrictions on what can be sent in a care package. In addition, an increasing number of camps are using websites to display photos or video during the camp session. According to the American Camp Association’s 2011 Emerging Issues Survey, 75 percent of responding camps said they post photos or videos to a website for families to view, and 45 percent said they post information, photos and videos to social media outlets like Facebook. Families should be sure to ask camp directors about these options.Reprinted by permission of the American Camp Association. © 2019, American Camping Association, Inc.
How you handle a child being away for so many days – likely the longest he or she has ever been away – is often dependent on several things, perhaps the most important being which child we are talking about and whether you’ve been through the experience before.
For example, sending an only child away for the first time can be excruciating. For a veteran who is sending a third or fourth child away to camp for the umpteenth time, the only real considerations are how early the drop-off line opens and whether one of the older kids, or a neighbor whose kid is also going, can make the delivery. A father myself, I’ve seen people driving in hot on two wheels. Other people, of course.
In an effort to help other parents cope with this separation, I compiled some suggestions of things you can do to take advantage of your time, and/or help to distract you from feeling guilty or lonely.
Phone a friend. While your child is special, there is no reason to reinvent the wheel, and just knowing that other kids have gone away and survived without Mommy or Daddy being there to make sure they eat right and don’t fall out of a tree can help.
Call on your faith. Knowing that children have actually enjoyed summer camp and come back the better may seem inconceivable, but it does happen. The truth is, summer camp is a great place for kids to learn independence and how to take care of themselves. But we are talking about how you will survive the week here
Sleep on it. Think about it, this may be the first time you haven’t been awakened at first light by a child pouncing on your bed since who can remember when. Relish it.
Get busy. This is a great time to tackle those projects you put off because your days are spent in carpool lines, making lunches, scheduling play dates, doing – oops – checking homework, and just in general being an uber parent. While it’s maybe not a fun idea, this is a good time to reorganize the house, paint a room or catch up on the laundry or some other time-consuming task you can’t do with a child underfoot.
Channel your emotions. If you just have to have a good cry, get all of those pictures of your child off of your phone and into an album. But the best advice is to spend the time not thinking about the fact that your child is not there, so
Act your age. Go to a place where other adults gather and the food is served on real plates and the drinks in real glasses. Resist the temptation to cut up the food on the plate next to yours. Have an adult beverage. Or two.
Explore. This is a great chance to try that new club or restaurant that your non-parent friends (assuming you still have any) are always talking about.
Don’t check your watch. You might even consider staying out past 10 o’clock. But again, pace yourself.
Dance it out. If you are feeling really froggy, do dinner and drinks and then go to a concert or play. It is summertime, so make plans to attend Nightfall on Friday night and actually listen to the music instead of hanging out by the fountain so your child can splash their feet in the water.
Netflix and chill. Watch a movie that isn’t a cartoon and doesn’t feature a song you will then have to hear on repeat from sunup to sundown. Or, you could binge watch “Game of Thrones” or some other adult series without worring that your child will see or hear something that will scar them for life.
Relax. Remember that your child is having the time of his or her life, so why shouldn’t you?