DEAR ABBY: My husband has stage 4 cancer and is in constant pain. A big worry for him is my being alone in life after his passing. Several months ago when the subject came up, I told him that while I’m not a prophet, I know I’ll be OK. I’m a social person. I have a nice support group with various organizations, and I’m close with family and co-workers, etc.
Four months ago, a high school friend and I reconnected. We have shared many conversations and have built a meaningful relationship. The gnawing question is, do I share this information with my husband now, wait until he mentions his leaving me alone again or say nothing? There is a fine line here between putting my husband’s fears to rest and potentially making him feel he will be easily replaced.
Your response will help with some of the stress I’m having at this juncture. – NOT EASILY REPLACED
DEAR NOT EASILY REPLACED: I know I will hear from my readers once your letter is published, and I’m just as certain their responses will indicate that they have done each of the things you mentioned.
I agree that there is a fine line between putting your husband’s fears to rest and making him feel he will be easily replaced. The reality is, whether things work out with your old school chum or the budding romance comes to nothing, relationships are not interchangeable. You have shared history with your husband that can’t be duplicated.