We’ve been reading the book “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown, in which he calls for identifying what’s vital in your life and minimizing the rest. And it got us thinking: How many of us have taken a personal inventory and tried to sort out what is important? Have you ever focused on what is essential, then tried to analyze how you live your life in relation to that focus?
Probably, only a few of us would say”yes.”
Dads are so busy raising a family and pursuing a career, they often don’t have time to assess their lives. We get caught up in the expectations and pressures of the daily routine and are just trying to make things work. Yet performing an inventory of your life can be an important step to ensure that you’re making the most of your abilities, contributing effectively as a man and a father and living a meaningful life.
We certainly have a lot more opportunities than we have time or resources. So how do we make sure we’re being our most productive with the time we have? McKeown says we can do it by learning to sort through the multitude of options and separating the vital from the trivial — all while focusing on the journey rather than the destination.
Too often we are controlled by others — co-workers, church and social organizations, friends, even our children. When you’re not in control, you feel lost, aimless, purposeless and manipulated by others. The more we race around to cover all the bases, the less effective we become. It can be valuable to take time out, determine what is important and reflect those preferences in what we do and how we live.
If you were to list the most important parts of your life, what would they be? We suspect your list would include your spouse, your children and your career in your top tier.
McKeown says that too often we major in minor, actively pursuing what turns out to be incidental. We try to do it all and we’re not too effective at it.
Once you determine the most important elements of your life, be clear about how you decide to spend your time. At the end of the year, if someone were to ask you to list how you had become a better father, what would you say? And how would the items on your list translate into how you spent your time? Most of us might have a difficult time recalling how we carried out our best of intentions.
Don’t let that happen. Tie your activities and decisions to your priorities, to what is important in your life. And remember, if you don’t set your priorities, someone else will be happy to do so.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black are authors of “Dads2Dads: Tools for Raising Teenagers.” Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter at Dads2Dadsllc.com. Contact them at tomandbill@Dads2Dadsllc.com.