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Friday, October 30, 2026Oct 30

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Thomas: Central Insanity Agency

FILE - This April 13, 2016 file photo shows the seal of the Central Intelligence Agency at CIA headquarters in Langley, Va. Most stories about espionage are shrouded in secrecy due to the danger involved, but news organizations have been tested with the emergence of a potential spy's name. The issue involves the Russian official reportedly extracted from the country by the CIA two years ago. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)
FILE - This April 13, 2016 file photo shows the seal of the Central Intelligence Agency at CIA headquarters in Langley, Va. Most stories about espionage are shrouded in secrecy due to the danger involved, but news organizations have been tested with the emergence of a potential spy's name. The issue involves the Russian official reportedly extracted from the country by the CIA two years ago. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File) FILE - This April 13, 2016 file photo shows the seal of the Central Intelligence Agency at CIA headquarters in Langley, Va. Most stories about espionage are shrouded in secrecy due to the danger involved, but news organizations have been tested with the emergence of a potential spy's name. The issue involves the Russian official reportedly extracted from the country by the CIA two years ago. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster, File)

The Central Intelligence Agency is always looking to recruit new agents, and advertising is one way it has done so in the past. The difference this time is in a newly created series of recruitment videos that reflect the spirit of the age in which we live, rather than appealing to abilities and patriotism.

The videos seem to suggest that the super-secret agency has been infiltrated, not by spies from Russia, China, or al-Qaeda, but rather a subtler enemy.

That would be the infiltration by woke liberals, whose primary goal appears to be the undermining of every tradition and institution – from Disneyland’s Snow White ride (the famous kiss scene by the Prince has been deemed sexually aggressive because Snow White is unconscious and cannot give consent, so it will be re-imagined) – to America’s foremost intelligence agency.

The latest CIA video features a Latina officer who identifies as a “cisgender millennial.” Even the word “cisgender” is so new that my spellcheck does not (yet) recognize it. The video is part of a new series called “Humans of CIA” designed to attract a more “diverse pool of candidates.”

From the script: “I am a woman of color. I am a mom. I am a cisgender millennial who has been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I am intersectional, but my existence is not a box-checking exercise.”