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Friday, October 30, 2026Oct 30

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Laugh Lines

DAVE LETTERMAN’S TOP 10

Top 10 reasons your film wasn’t nominated for an Academy Award:10. Stars Daniel Day-Lewis, but not that Daniel Day-Lewis.9. It’s entitled “Life of Pie.”8. Three-minute “movie” demonstrates safety procedures on JetBlue.7. It’s two hours of iPhone footage inadvertently recorded in your pocket.6. Film was released “straight-to-Dumpster.”5. It’s two hours of Donald Trump demanding to see Lincoln’s birth certificate.4. Film was in French, subtitles also in French.3. Tells the story of a vomiting robot.2. Can hear crew laughing whenever anyone says “Hitchcock.”1. Ebert gave it two middle-fingers up.Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”

So very hyper

Bumper sticker spotted on a pickup truck in Red Bank:

“My ADD child can run circles around your honor student.”

Angelic behavior

Angels as explained by children:

• I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. – Gregory, age 5