At age 16, I lost my grandmother. She wasn’t the first loved one I had lost, but it affected me differently. My Memaw was my hero; I witnessed her long battle with diabetes and cancer. The grief was complicated. When my wife was 29, she lost her grandmother. They were extremely close growing up, but at age 12, my wife moved to this country and saw her grandmother only once over the next 17 years. Her grieving looked much different than mine. She is still grieving the loss.
When your friend or family member loses a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or another person close to them, their responses may look different, and that’s OK. We all grieve for various lengths of time, sometimes with extreme emotions. Though the process varies from person to person, you can be a source of support and strength as you meet others where they are in their grief.
Here are four ways you can help a friend or loved one who is grieving:
1. Be present.
Be there, and be attentive to their needs. Remember, their grief may look different than yours. Maybe they want to talk about the loved one they just lost. Perhaps they just want to grab a drink and talk about anything else. Maybe they just need you to sit with them as they process. No matter what this looks like for them, be there.