DAVE LETTERMAN’S TOP 10Top 10 thoughts going through a lifeguard’s mind on a typical day:• 10. “Just had lunch, so I’ll wait another 30 minutes before rescuing someone.”• 9. “Shark! No, wait – that’s a guy with a hump.”• 8. “Americans are more buoyant than ever.”• 7. “I love being half-naked and staring at people.”• 6. “How long was I asleep?”• 5. “The seagulls are talking to me.”• 4. “Give me a second; I’m working on my tan.”• 3. “Getting paid to sit on a chair and do nothing? I’m Letterman.”• 2. “Maybe I should be facing the water.”• 1. “‘Help’ or ‘kelp’ – who cares?”Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”
Marriage counseling
A husband and wife are at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling comes up.
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship,” says the husband.
“She was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. She communicates well, and I act like I’m listening.”
Did you hear?
The World Origami Championships are going to be televised. Unfortunately, it’s only available on Paper View.