Some hunters appear to go as wild as the birds they pursue in the spring, according to an exhaustive study from the Wackenshut Institute, writes outdoors columnist Larry Case.
Contributed photo / Larry CaseIn a landmark study published this week, scientists and psychologists from 12 U.S. states plus Canada and Mexico have disclosed findings indicating there are definite links between spring turkey hunting and sexual behavior, some types of drugs and different forms of rock and roll music.
Eminent psychiatrist Dr. Robert Joseph Clapper, representing the esteemed Wackenshut Institute, read from a prepared statement during a news conference Tuesday: “The members of the Wackenshut Institute that participated in this study know these findings will be a shock to many members of society. We, the members of the Wackenshut Institute, are scientists and only seek to gain knowledge through the examination of our data. We will have no comments as to the sensationalism that will be generated by this report.”
Dr. Clapper went on to note that there were “definite” and “conclusive” correlations between the hunting of wild turkeys in the spring and certain forms of sexual behavior. Dr. Clapper said the study, which was conducted from February to late May in 2015, was “exhaustive,” and that five members of the Wackenshut Institute resigned during the study and several reported “extreme fatigue” and sleep deprivation.
“We saw many relationships between spring hunting and the mating rituals of the different species of the wild turkey,” he noted. “The overall behavior of the birds during this time period was, to be blunt, appalling. To witness that level of sexual energy, usually so early in the morning, was frankly too much for some members of the study.”
Dr. Clapper revealed some members of the team fainted during these encounters and there were two scientists who received injuries while filming gobblers (male turkeys) fighting for dominance. When asked about the injuries, Dr. Clapper said that the scientists were “flogged.”