For most American football fans, this may be the best week of the year. College football’s national signing day — which is basically an unofficial holiday here in the South — takes place on Wednesday. Then Super Bowl XLV arrives Sunday, when it is sure to become the most watched show of 2011, what with fan favorites Green Bay and Pittsburgh squaring off in the ultimate game for the first time ever.
In fact, it’s a wonder most Southern businesses don’t consider a Christmas-style holiday break whenever signing day and the Super Bowl are within five days of each other. Productivity is bound to suffer. Nerves are on edge, especially during signing day.
I mean, how can you possibly worry about pleasing your boss when Jonas the Whale — the 6-10, 375-pound defensive end from Opp, Ala., who runs a 4.4 40, bench presses a Hummer and swallows opposing running backs as if they were plankton — just signed with Hated Rival U. instead of your alma mater?
And what if your school got him. Now you’re consumed with the 2013 BCS title game. Either way, there’s no chance you can refocus on work before next week.
Besides, come Sunday you’ve got Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews and Pittsburgh defensive back Troy Polamalu starring in dueling shampoo commercials for Suave (Matthews) and Head and Shoulders.
Matthews can shout, “Smells great.”
Polamalu can counter, “No flakes.”
The 100,000 fans inside Jerry Jones’ joint can then join the 108 million watching from home to determine by text, e-mail or mesquite smoke signal which player had the best ad.
Just to make this really interesting, the loser can agree to have his locks shaved off at intermission by Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas during their halftime show.
To further hype the moment she could alter the lyrics from the group’s hit single, “Don’t Phunk with my Heart,” to “Don’t Phunk with my Hair” as the flowing mane falls to the stage floor.
Just don’t expect many Tennessee Titans fans to watch. They’re sort of re-thinking this whole Super Bowl mania stuff these days. With no coach, no quarterback and seemingly no hope, they may tune out the Super Bowl if only to avoid being reminded how far they’ve fallen since reaching the 2000 Super Bowl.
This isn’t just about Jeff Fisher saying good-bye last week after 16 years as head coach. It was probably past time for Fisher to go.
But you should never jettison a coach until you know you have a better replacement. The Titans’ choice at the moment appears to be 14-year assistant Mike Munchak, who’s in the Hall of Fame for his playing days with the Oilers, not his coaching skills.
This isn’t to say Munchak isn’t a terrific offensive line coach, but he’s never even been an offensive coordinator.
What he is, however, is already under contract, like 13 other Titans assistants. And with an NFL lockout over labor issues a distinct possibility, and owner Bud Adams possibly unwilling to pay the current coaching staff through the upcoming season — as well as an entire new staff if someone outside the current organization was to follow Fisher — Munchak appears to be the favorite.
Then again, general manager Mike Reinfeldt once worked for the Packers during their Super Bowl years in 1996 and 1997. He could reach into the Mike Holmgren coaching fraternity, a move that would surely bring more offense to the Music City if the team can find a quarterback.
Or could Munchak finally make a quarterback of Vince Young, even though the Titans have already said they want to trade the third overall pick of the 2006 draft or, failing that, release him?
At this point, why not give Young one more try? Yes, he’s delusional or he wouldn’t have told one media outlet last week that he still considered himself an “elite quarterback.”
But the Titans do have the most explosive running back in the league in Chris Johnson, Young may still have the best wheels of all NFL QBs (including Vick) and with a healthy Kenny Britt at wideout, a Munchak attack based on running the ball just might make the team more competitive than currently seems possible.
Of course, the Titans may also be so discombobulated at the moment that the two words tossed around Fisher’s farewell conference — disarray and chaos — might actually be an upgrade over the team’s current state.
Which is why any Titans fan determined to watch the Super Bowl from the Arlington, Tex., stadium property might want to bypass the $2,100 being asked for the worst seat in the house and instead cough up $375 for a seat that originally sold for $200 in the Party Plaza.
No, it’s not actually in the stadium. It’s merely a seat to watch the game on a video screen. Kind of nature’s living room instead of your living room. But if you’re a Titans fan it’s good preparation for the next two or three years, since you’re about to be on the outside looking in whenever it comes to playoff talk.