DEAR ABBY: My now-ex and I had a complicated, four-year on-again, off-again relationship. I finally ended it five months ago, but I’m still not sure whether I made the right choice.
Every guy I date I compare to him. It’s hard to imagine myself with anyone else. We were so similar, and we made so many plans together. Our families weren’t crazy about us being together. I backed away many times because I wasn’t sure of us in the long term.
Maybe it was because I’m only 22 and scared of committing forever, or because I want to be a doctor and have years of schooling ahead of me. Our relationship was always very hot and passionate, but it turned very cold and distant sometimes.
I’m confused. Did I leave for the hope of something better or a fear of commitment? Or was it because I’m young and still trying to figure out my life and felt he was holding me back? – SECOND THOUGHTS IN ARIZONA
DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Your life is just beginning. If you are sincere about your desire to be a doctor, you may have to postpone other aspects of your life until you are closer to your goal. The last thing you need in the near term is the distraction of a hot and passionate/cold and distant romance.