DEAR ABBY: I am a single, stay-at-home mom of a special needs 14-year-old. I also take care of my elderly father. When life starts to overwhelm me, I tend to isolate myself to focus on taking care of my son and Dad and taking care of my mental health.
I haven’t even been on social media in three years. Because of it I have lost touch with many friends and family members. I’m now being called “antisocial” and a few other not-so-nice names. How can I get people to understand that this is how I handle stress and it has nothing to do with them? – STRESSED-OUT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR STRESSED-OUT: Explain, as you have to me, that when you become stressed, your coping mechanism is to isolate yourself, and your silence is not meant to be offensive. If you are told your silence was hurtful, apologize and point out that because you are stretched thin, sometimes you are overwhelmed and need to quietly recharge. Many people cope with stress the way you do. If it works for you, more power to you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m an 11th-grader. My parents have been putting massive amounts of pressure on me about college, and it’s stressing me into oblivion. When I try to talk to them about it, they tell me I should be, and already should have been, more involved in my college applications process, academics and preparing for college. They say those should be my top priorities right now, and have gone so far as to restrict what I can do – getting a job, hanging out, extracurriculars, etc. How do I get them to lay off? – BURNED-OUT IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR BURNED-OUT: A way to do that would be to show your parents the extent to which you ARE working on your college applications as well as your grade point average. They are trying to make you focus because they fear you won’t be accepted if you don’t. If the pressure is really too much for you, discuss this with a counselor at school, so that person can intercede for you.