Modern Klinger
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the Army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.”
Policy problem
Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan said, “We had that barn insured for $50,000, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.”
There was a long pause before Susan replied, “Then I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”
Pick a prize
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk and they end up leaving together and going back to her place.
As she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium-size ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him. They kiss, then rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”