Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I am conflicted about boundaries being crossed between my family therapist and me. My 7-year-old son and I have been seeing someone we both bonded with and felt comfortable with. That is, until the therapist and I found each other on an online dating site.
We matched a few months ago. Once I realized it was him, I felt embarrassed and blocked him on the site. He sent me an email within three minutes acknowledging that he knew it was me. He said he thought I was “awesome” and that I look better in person than in my pics. I was so embarrassed I didn’t respond.
A couple of months went by, and neither of us brought it up. My son invited him to his birthday party, and he did attend. It wasn’t until later that I realized therapists are not supposed to attend social events with patients. We also text often, during late-night hours.
A couple of weeks after my son’s birthday party, he tried matching with me again on the dating site. I was surprised and sent him a text asking him what he was doing. He responded by asking me if I was enjoying it, but did not answer my question. I do have a slight crush on him, but I’m not sure what his intentions are. I am aware that it’s unethical. – UNETHICAL CRUSH
DEAR UNETHICAL: You are correct that what the therapist has been doing is a breach of professional ethics. There is a reason for it. Patients are extremely vulnerable to manipulation.