In every life, the heart hurts. A grandmother dies, a wife walks away, a husband cheats, a boyfriend lies. We can’t avoid loss, but we can get help, experts say. We can even heal.
For many, the path from pain begins by remembering that you’re normal. “Realize that most everybody’s been through it – it’s not unique to you,” says Linda Howard, supervisor of therapists at the Fort Wood Center. “It’s healthy to eventually move on.”
Several local wellness experts helped Chatter identify the best strategies for overcoming a breakup. If you’re feeling down and out, tackle one or two of these targeted tips, or use all of them to feel better and start spring on a whole new track:
1 Find support. Ask a good friend to hold your hand while you cry. Call a buddy, not your ex-wife, when your resolve to avoid her weakens. If you haven’t got a pal who will answer your ring at midnight, seek a therapist. When you constantly dwell on the relationship or “you can’t see a bright future,” it’s time to consider counseling, advises Howard. And, before you date again, create a strong social system, advises Elizabeth Capecchi, a psychologist with New Beginnings Counseling Center in Hixson. “When you’re being fed emotionally, you’re likely to be more discerning about new relationships.”
2 Find pleasure in food – but in moderation. “It’s comforting to know a cupcake will taste the same at 13, 30 or 80,” says Pamela Kelle, a registered dietitian and nutrition therapist in North Chattanooga. When the ecstasy of a chocolate truffle turns to the torment of a guilty conscience, you’re in danger. “If something gives you pleasure, do it,” says Kelle. “When food loses its flavor, it’s time to quit.”