By Mark Caro
Chicago Tribune
At some point, you must resign yourself that the Academy Awards are never really going to change. Still, here are five fixes to make next year’s show a bit more tolerable.
1The presenter has one — count ’em, one — job after opening the envelope: Read the winner’s name. You don’t make the moment about yourself by declaring, “I love my life” (Julia Roberts before announcing Denzel Washington as 2002’s Best Actor), or, “Well, the time has come” (Barbra Streisand, no doubt reflecting on her own Oscar-slighted directing career Sunday night).
Fix: From now on, violators of this rule get a pie in the face.
2Awkward moment: honorary Oscar recipients Lauren Bacall and Roger Corman being asked to stand at their seats but not talk, all while the Kodak Theatre audience craned its collective neck in confusion at what was going on.
Fix: Let the legends speak. Shut up some other folks, such as …
3In the evening’s Kanye West moment, Elinor Burkett, estranged producer of the Oscar-winning short documentary “Music By Prudence,” rushed the stage and hijacked director Roger Ross Williams’ speech.
It was entertaining in a mystifying way, but it would’ve been more entertaining if Alec Baldwin had just tackled this rude woman.
Fix: Banish the shorts to another night. Good intentions aside, nobody knows these people or films.
4Did Sunday’s show have a midnight EST curfew, or did Tom Hanks want to avoid paying his limo driver overtime?
Either way, his opening of the Best Picture envelope without first listing the nominees was anti-dramatic and anti-climactic and underscored the downside of 10 nominees: Who has time?
Fix: Return to five Best Picture nominees. Nobody talked about more than three or four this year anyway.
5When Kate Winslet stepped up to present Sunday’s Best Actor award, she acknowledged that she basically had nothing to do following the lengthy testimonials to each nominee.
Really, the Oscars didn’t offer enough praise before these clustered kiss-ups were introduced last year?
Fix: Go old school and show one strong, unedited scene for each nominee, and let the presenters do their jobs.