What’s as much fun as a barrel of sardines and a box of Triscuits? Watching the more tin-eared liberals in Washington assert that the vote for Scott Brown had nothing to do with ObamaCare — then hearing them vow to pass it over our dead bodies:
* “(Speaker of the House Nancy) Pelosi and others contend that because Massachusetts already has near-universal health coverage under a state law, the upset victory … could not be seen as a referendum on the issue,” The Associated Press reported. She told the San Francisco Chronicle, “(W)e will pass quality, affordable health care for all Americans and it will be soon.” (Translation: Get over it, all ye rabble who think it will destroy quality and affordability.)
* David Plouffe, who headed then-Sen. Obama’s presidential campaign, scoffed at the notion of stepping back from what President Obama, wordsmith in chief, called the “precipice” of ObamaCare: “We have a good health care plan,” Mr. Plouffe told ABC. “We need to pass that. We have to lead.” (Ah, but we don’t have to follow.)
* “There is only one guarantee — that if we don’t pass something, the notion of trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again is a real long shot,” Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., told the AP. “It’s a lot easier to pass something and fix it later.” (And it’s easier still to pass something and never fix it until Mr. Dumpty is but a poached memory, the nation is bankrupt and you’re safely out of office. For details, see “Security, Social.”)
Far from reconsidering the arrogance that spawned the mathematically unthinkable election of a conservative to a seat held almost exclusively by the Kennedy clan since Mamie Eisenhower was selecting china for the White House, Speaker Pelosi and her tone-deaf fellow travelers are laying it on thicker.
Plainly, the message-in-a-mushroom-cloud sent by voters on Jan. 19, 2010, has not registered with some of those who are determined to parcel out our medical care, dictate our automobile choices and crack down on our decadent access to affordable electricity.
They have until Nov. 2 to figure it out.
Chances aren’t …
In the wake of Tuesday’s special election, let us solemnly ponder some related probabilities.
Massachusetts sending conservative Republican Scott Brown to the U.S. Senate is like:
* John Kerry nailing down the Polk County NRA endorsement with a promise to seize all privately owned firearms.
* Gloria Steinem running away with the school board vote in Rhonda Thurman’s north Hamilton County district after vowing to build an abortion annex at every middle school.
* Phyllis Schlafly earning a series of standing ovations during a God-and-country address at the ACLU’s Ban-the-Bible Fest.
* A polite Michael Moore turning down that eclair platter.
* A polite Michael Moore period.
* Mackenzie Phillips snagging a fourth Oscar. (And not to get off topic, but how on earth did “One Day at a Time” wheeze along for nine drab, preachy seasons?)
Plenty can and will happen between now and 2012, but if the president doesn’t have a reversal of fortunes before then, look for a primary challenge from Secretary of State Defarge.
Course correction
If Republicans hang together, if Democrats don’t manage to kill the filibuster that they adored when they were in the minority, and if Sen.-elect Brown is the real deal, he could be phenomenally productive in Washington.
A good start would be declaring the following DOA:
* ObamaCare
* Cap and tax
* A second “stimulus”
* Radical Supreme Court nominations
* The closing of Gitmo
* The unconstitutional transfer of enemy combatants to U.S. soil, where they will use courtrooms as platforms to taunt relatives of 9/11 victims.
Lots of this is wishful thinking, of course. Republicans might not hang together. (Hello, Sens. Collins and Snowe.) Democrats may kill the filibuster. And it remains to be seen whether Sen. Brown will vote according to his campaign promises or with an eye toward re-election in 2012, when Massachusetts’ default liberalism may have kicked back in.
But if you’re gonna dream, doggone it, dream big.
To reach Steve Barrett, call 423-757-6329 or e-mail sbarrett@timesfreepress.com.