DEAR ABBY: I have a sister in-law, “Karen,” who is rude and acts like she is better than everyone else. She feels she’s entitled to have family members watch her kids so she can do what she wants. If you refuse, she drops the kids off at the door. If anyone confronts her about her bad behavior, she claims she has anxiety and depression to make the person feel guilty.
I believe she uses her mental health issues to manipulate others. I know many family members will side with her out of sympathy, but I no longer can sit back and accept her verbally abusing me and others. I’m not sure how to respond in a respectful way. Any ideas? — DOESN’T LIKE CONFLICT IN KENTUCKY
DEAR DOESN’T: Do nothing without first warning your in-laws that you have reached your limit. The next time your sister-in-law is rude, say calmly, “I don’t deserve to be spoken to that way. That’s it for me. I’m leaving.” Then do it. Your husband should back you. While you’re at it, have him and his family determine whether Karen’s kids are at risk. Dumping children on someone’s doorstep seems like child abandonment to me.
DEAR ABBY: I tell myself every year that I will not do this again but I do. My husband was married before, and had one daughter who now has two daughters of her own. She has always had the idea she was somehow deprived. I assure you, she was not. Her maternal grandparents thought she hung the moon and showered her with everything. When her mother remarried, she insisted that my husband allow her new husband to adopt her.
Contact with my husband was reestablished when she became of age. I do my best to acknowledge holidays, birthdays, etc., for all of them. The problem for me is there is never any reciprocation, and I’m tired of it.