DEAR ABBY: I married a widower eight years ago, and we are very happy. However, his three grown daughters were angry that he moved on with his life after the death of their mother. To keep peace in the family, I have tried to “kill them with kindness,” and while we’ve made progress, I feel they take advantage of me and sometimes treat me with disrespect.
Although we don’t swim often, we go to the expense of opening our pool every summer so the children and grandchildren can swim. Frequently when I check the pool after they leave, I find my pool floats have been damaged or destroyed. All three of his daughters are very large women. Not once have they mentioned that they damaged the floats or offered to replace them.
I bought a new chair for my deck recently and noticed that it has a weight limit of 250 pounds. At least two of his daughters — maybe all three — exceed the weight limit. I’m considering selling the chair because I’m afraid someone will get hurt. Is there a way to let them know they shouldn’t try out my new chair without it turning into an awkward situation? — POOL PROTECTOR
DEAR POOL PROTECTOR: Unless you want to be perceived as the wicked stepmother, your husband should handle this delicate subject. He should point out to his daughters that if they or their children break something, he expects them to tell the two of you about it. If it happens repeatedly, they should either replace the item or bring one of their own.
Because you are concerned his daughters will break the chair, consider buying foam mats they and their kids can cover with beach towels and use when they are on the patio. Furniture you do not want them to use should not be made available to them.