An adult told my son they didn’t believe him last week. Here’s what happened.
Long story short, he did something he wasn’t supposed to do, and he said it was “an accident.” It wasn’t anything life-threatening or catastrophic, but he didn’t want to get in trouble. Instead of admitting he was guilty, he lied about it. The adult in charge didn’t feel like it was an accident and wanted my son to know they didn’t like to be lied to.
A few hours later, my son told me all about what happened. He started the conversation by asking, “Mom, am I a bad kid?” And ended it with the statement, “I guess some people love me and some people never will.” (Insert shocked emoji here.)
How did this situation spur an existential and relational crisis in my 5-year-old?
As parents and caregivers, we desire to raise honest and trustworthy children. However, it’s important to understand that kids are going to lie. Research by Kang Lee, a developmental psychologist at the University of Toronto, suggests that lying is developmentally appropriate and children will begin experimenting with it between the ages of 2 and 3. Lying is not a developed moral deficiency in our children, but they are looking for our guidance and support.