Lisa McCluskey, a 67-year-old retiree, has become an expert on a national trend called “silver divorce.”
The term describes the trend toward more seniors — specifically baby boomers — experiencing marital breakups. An estimated 25% of modern divorces are in the over-65 population, and they often involve couples who tied the knot decades ago.
McCluskey said she was surprised by her own 2023 divorce after 34 years together with her ex-husband.
“It’s not something you expect after that many years of marriage,” she said in an interview. “I didn’t even know how to be single. … You lose your companion. You lose your identity… because you are not a wife any more.’
(READ MORE: Gray divorce grows in couples over 50.)
The experience, she said, led to a crash course in the mechanics of ending a marriage. She enrolled in “divorce care” classes at a local church, which covered the emotional and economical fallout of divorce. She even took the course twice to deepen her understanding of the issues.
“I got help,” she said. “I just knew I did not want to be that divorced person that all they talked about was their divorce. I didn’t want to be that person whose divorce defined who they were.”
Over time, McCluskey said she realized she had amassed a collection of materials and experiences that might be helpful to others in the “silver divorce” zone. For example, she developed a spreadsheet to record personal finance data for divorce mediation. Her lawyer wished out loud that she would prep other clients, she said.
Looking for an efficient way to share, McCluskey hit on starting a podcast that she calls, aptly, the Silver Divorce Podcast. In the online description of the program she identifies some of the the subject matter: “Inheritances, 401(k)s, IRAs, properties, co-owned businesses, pensions and Social Security all contribute to a complex divorce,” she wrote. “Managing adult and pre-teen or teenage children adds to the complexity of a new family dynamic.”
(READ MORE: When it comes to divorce, pets are people, too.)
So far, the podcasts, which she records at studios owned by Whitfield Media Group, have attracted more than 500 “plays” per episode.
“Right now (it’s) just shy of 11,000 plays for 20 episodes on 18 podcasting platforms,” she said. She even has sponsors, a sports medicine clinic and a Medicare advisor.
She said the most-played episodes deal with emotional issues, such as a recent podcast for people who feel stuck between staying in a marriage and leaving. Sometimes she has guests, such as therapists, authors and experts on personal finance.
McCluskey said her research has helped her have a deeper understanding of how relationship issues affect seniors. Even more common than actual divorce are a loss of emotional and physical intimacy that signals that couples are living more as “roommates” than as loving spouses. She says experts call this “losing the plot” of a marriage, when a love story becomes a mere marriage of convenience.
She says there’s also something about cresting 60 that perhaps makes people more likely to consider divorce.
“They hit the end (decades) of their life, and think, ‘Oh, my gosh. All my friends are dying and didn’t even get to enjoy retirement.'”
While the process of ending a marriage can be unexpected and difficult, it’s important to learn from others that there is life after divorce, she said.
“At the end of the day, the divorce will end,” McCluskey said, “and you have a life to live.”
In the meantime, McCluskey said she hopes her podcast will ease the path of others facing senior divorce.
“I hope it helps people,” she said. “That’s all I want, to help the process to be a little less traumatic for them.”
The Silver Divorce audios are available on YouTube, Spotify, the Apple Podcasts app and other platforms.
Life Stories is published on Mondays. Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645.