Q: My child is getting older, and I know puberty is right around the corner. When is the best time to start talking about it, and how should I approach the conversation?
A: You’re already off to a great start by thinking ahead. The best time to talk about puberty is before it begins. Most children start showing early signs between ages 8 and 13 for girls and 9 and 14 for boys, but it’s helpful to begin the conversation a little earlier. Talking about these changes before they happen helps your child feel more prepared, less anxious and more confident when their body starts to change.
Puberty can be an awkward subject, but it doesn’t have to be a one-time, sit-down talk. Think of it as an ongoing conversation that grows with your child. Start with the basics: what changes to expect in their body, why those changes happen and reassurance that everyone develops at their own pace. Use correct terms for body parts and normalize curiosity. Keeping your tone calm and open encourages your child to ask questions instead of seeking answers elsewhere.
It’s also important to match the conversation to your child’s maturity level. Younger children might just need to know the basics, while preteens and teens can handle more details about hormones, hygiene and emotional changes.
Remember, the goal isn’t just to share information; it’s to build trust. When your child knows they can come to you with questions about their body, relationships or health, you’ve laid the groundwork for open communication well into their teenage years.
Dr. Meagan Aiken is a pediatrician with Pediatric Diagnostic Associates and is a member of the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Medical Society.