It may have been around longer, but it has only been in the past few years that I began to hear the term “church hurt.” It seems primarily to be used to describe pain that one believes has been unjustifiably inflicted on them by a church. And I know that it is very real for one incredibly obvious reason: Every church is made of people, and people in any and every context hurt each other.
I have been on both sides of the church world. I spent 27 years as a member, and have now spent 29 years as a pastor. I know what the pews feel like, and I know what the pulpit feels like. I have seen most everything there is to see in a church, and from most every angle. As such, I know that in some cases, the church hurt card is merely an excuse for wanting to live a sinful life without anyone being allowed to speak against it, but in other cases, it is a real hurt brought on by real unkindness and/or unbiblical behaviors and attitudes from those who damage the sheep rather than caring for the sheep.
If you are one who simply enjoys your sin and hates the church, this letter is not for you.
If you are one who truly wants to live for the Lord but is having difficulty processing how those who call themselves God’s people can often act like anything but, this letter is absolutely for you.
So let’s begin. Right off the bat, if you have been physically or sexually abused by anyone, anywhere, in any context, you should go to the authorities and report it immediately. It may be the scariest thing you ever do, but it will also be one of the most beneficial, to yourself and to others. You will break emotional shackles just by speaking up, and you may also spare someone else from having to go through what you went through. To the Jesus who said (of people) “A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench,” no one is disposable. You matter. Others matter. Speak up.