DEAR ABBY: I have two best friends going back to third grade (we’re in our 30s now) and one older sister. I’m the last in my friend group to get married. My fiancee and I are eloping this summer. We already own a house and need nothing, so I told my mother and sister that a bridal shower is unnecessary. Plus, since we are eloping, I felt it rude to invite people to a shower when no one would be invited to the elopement.
However, nobody has planned anything else for me. I understand people are busy with their own lives, but I always made time for them, and it makes me feel like I’m not important to them. It’s becoming increasingly difficult not to feel slighted and forgotten.
I would have loved at least a fun girls’ night at our favorite restaurant or even a quiet one watching chick flicks, wearing face masks and painting our toenails — a day where they said, “We thought about you.” I worry that if I reach out to any of them about it, I’ll sound like a spoiled brat. How can I manage these feelings? — BRIDE, NOT BRAT
DEAR BRIDE: Your friends and family are only doing exactly what you asked for. By eloping and refusing a bridal shower, you’ve signaled that you want this event to pass uncelebrated by the people closest to you. If that’s not really what you want, speak up now.
I’m sure your friends and sister would love to show you how happy they are for you and shower you with well wishes. Approach one of your friends, apologize for the misunderstanding and give your permission for her to plan the girls’ night you were hoping for (or plan it with her).