Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I have known this guy “Noah” for six years. We’re mostly just friends with benefits, but I’ve always had deeper feelings for him. I always wanted to see where things could go between us, so I mentioned it to him. He told me that if he didn’t already have a girlfriend, he would have dated me. So when they broke up, I waited patiently.
I continued being a good friend to Noah, giving him advice and putting my own feelings off to the side. Then just when I felt us getting to another level in our relationship, he told me he had another girlfriend and we needed to stop. I would never sleep with a guy who is with someone else. I’m not that type of girl.
What should I do? I’m confused and hurt at the same time. Should I bring up my feelings again? Just let him go? Or should I keep him in my life, but in a friend-only way? – JUMBLED EMOTIONS
DEAR JUMBLED: I don’t blame you for feeling confused. When someone’s words and actions don’t match, something is wrong. If Noah had been honest, you would have had your chance with him.
I vote for letting him go because you want more than he’s apparently able to give. If you do, it may hurt for a while, but it will make it easier for you to find someone who can love you back.