DEAR ABBY: “Roger” and I have been seeing each other for two years. (We are both 50.) We go to movies, ride our bikes together, work out at the gym and attend other events. People we see think we’re married or seriously dating and have asked about it. He tells them we just “hang out” and that he’s just a friend.
Roger says he’s seeing only me, but he’s on a dating website every night instant messaging younger women and talking to them for hours.
My friend says Roger is a good companion and I should stay with it. I think I deserve a fuller relationship. Abby, what do you think? – HANGING UP ON HANGING OUT
DEAR HANGING UP: Roger has made it no secret that he’s comfortable with the relationship as it is and doesn’t intend for it to progress. It appears the two of you are best friends. (Nowhere did you mention that you are in love with him.)
I do think that after all this time you should ask him why the relationship hasn’t become sexual. The answer may be that Roger is impotent, asexual or he’s just not interested in you that way. If that’s OK with you, then continue what appears to be a pleasant relationship. However, if you need more – and I think you do – then it’s time for you to move on.