DEAR ABBY: For years my sister has been in a relationship with a man who treats her terribly. She works full time and comes home to find him out partying every day. I have stood by her and offered advice and a willing ear, but at this point, her problems are affecting my marriage as well as my sanity.
His drug problems are getting worse, and he couldn’t care less how she feels. She follows him and sits outside the places he’s hanging out, which forces him to come out and talk to her. I have tried my best to get her to move on. Their kids are grown, so she can’t use them as an excuse anymore.
Last night, she told me she has decided to let him do what he wants but stay with him because his health is deteriorating from the drug use. After 13 years of being her emotional support because she never makes an effort to get out, I’ve reached the end of my rope.
I feel terrible guilt for feeling this way, but I recently had a baby, and with my new family, I no longer have the time or patience to deal with her drama. I know it may be wrong to bow out, but I need to tell her that her problems have become my problems and they’re damaging me. I don’t think she’s ever gonna draw the line. – WORN OUT SIS IN KENTUCKY
DEAR WORN OUT: Because your sister has tolerated this situation for 13 years, I, too, doubt she’s ever “gonna draw the line.” Had she done it years ago, it might have been the wake-up call her partner needed to sober up and straighten out.