Remember when you actually had to get up to answer the phone, the computer was only used to write papers and the television had three channels?
Now people answer the phone everywhere, including the dinner table and the bathroom. While the computer is still used to write papers, people often spend more time on Facebook or searching the Internet than actually accomplishing something, and people have many channel options on television.
How does all this technology impact families?
A recent American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers survey showed that one in five American divorces involve Facebook, and 80 percent of divorce lawyers have reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence. One pastor saw so many couples experiencing marital problems because of connections to old flames through Facebook that he asked his congregants to quit using the social network.
Research conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU) showed that nearly a quarter of teens have communicated with a boyfriend or girlfriend hourly between midnight and 5 a.m. via cell phone or texting. One in six communicated 10 or more times an hour through the night.
Many experts claim that texting contributes to sleep deprivation because most kids sleep with their phone within reach. When the phone vibrates or pings, it is hard to resist the temptation to pick it up.
According to research conducted with teens by the Pew Internet and American Life project in 2005, face-to-face interaction and phone contact have been partially replaced by instant messaging. The study shows that 75 percent of teens ages 12-17 use instant messaging. Of those teens, 48 percent say they use IM at least daily. Teens use it to enhance friendships, handle a conflict, begin and end romantic relationships and even mediate difficult conversations.
Research shows that the average person watches four hours of television daily, which equals six months of eight-hour days.
From family dinners and vacations to date nights and even Christmas morning, families are being slammed from every direction with technology, all in the name of staying connected. Isn’t staying connected with the outside world as important as staying connected with the people closest to you?
Is it possible to have “no technology” time zones? For example, no cell phones or television at the dinner table (parents included), teens’ cell phones left in the kitchen at night, computers in public spaces and limits on the time they are used for social purposes?
While making your family Christmas list, perhaps one of the best presents this year would be the gift of real connectedness. Families who are engaged with each other do better in every area of life. Consider these questions: Would you rather your child participate in family game night or play a game on Xbox alone? What is more constructive: a family meal or family members eating on their own in front of the computer or television?
When your child applies for a job, will he know how to communicate without using his thumbs to answer the questions?
Technology is a lot like money. Families can either learn how to control how much technology invades their world, or they can be controlled by technology. Which would you prefer?
Contact Julie Baumgardner at julieb@firstthings.org.