Here’s a confession: About three Decembers ago, I was hoping for a marriage proposal.
Never mind that I didn’t have a job and he was in school. Never mind that we hadn’t talked about how we would plan a budget. Never mind that we went days without doing the dishes. I wanted a ring.
Well, it makes sense, right? It’s the holiday season. There are fireplaces and hot chocolate, and snowy weather that gives way to bundling up and walking close. It’s a romantic time of year. This season just demands something sparkly, doesn’t it?
It’s easy to be blinded by twinkling lights. Sure, this seems like the perfect time to pop both the champagne and the question. But how many people bypass the important issue: Is it the right time to be setting out on that marital journey, until death or nasty divorce do you part?
“It’s easy to get caught up in the mystery and the magical part of the season, and when you’re thinking of love and romance, it’s easy to get caught up in that,” said Denise Powell, a licensed clinical social worker in Chattanooga. “I think before (couples) make the jump, they have to talk about what they think is really important in relationships, their values, their goals. Once the engagement starts … they think ‘we’re good to go.’ And that’s often a false illusion.”
According to Condé Nast’s American Wedding Study 2009, 15 percent of engagements occur in December, which tells me either that a lot of folks get swoony and spoony (I do) during the most wonderful time of the year, or that 15 percent of people who propose marriage can’t think of another Christmas gift for their significant others.
Plus, it just extends the “awww” factor. Take Tim and Tiffany, who got engaged Christmas of 2001. He took her home to his family’s house, where he popped the question (awww) Christmas morning (awwwwww. See?)
“Christmas is already such an awesome time, (the proposal anniversary) has added another dimension,” Tiffany said. “I think about it every year. Best Christmas gift ever.”
Or how about Justin, whose then-girlfriend, Kelly, grew up loving Christmas, but had had the holiday tainted by some family drama? “I wanted to make that time special for her again,” he said. So on Dec. 25, 2004, “I brought her gifts over to her house, and after we’d opened everything I did the incredibly corny – ‘Oh, wait, there’s one more thing’ – then went and pulled the ring out of my coat pocket and proposed.”
Say it with me: Awwwwww.
Over the next few weeks, I expect to see the inevitable pictures of grinning, newly engaged couples popping up on social media sites, and I expect to have my moments of … what’s the opposite of schadenfreude? But still, I’ve always loved the idea of snowflakes and sparkly things.
I told you: spoony.