By Connie Ogle
McClatchy Newspapers
There are not quite so many muscles on display in this sort-of sequel to John McTiernan’s 1987 classic “Predator” — although there are some, and you will not forget them.
There are no future governors amid the sweaty jungle action (unless Topher Grace makes a run for office, and who’s to say he won’t?). There is, however, spinal-cord gouging, a device that almost makes up for how little you care about what happens to the characters.
“Predators” makes a brief reference to the earlier film, which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura as commandos on a mission in Central America who find themselves hunted by a powerful extraterrestrial warrior. (There was a “Predator 2,” but the less said about it the better. Also forget those “Alien vs. Predator” movies; you may spot an alien skull or two amid the wreckage, but those films are largely irrelevant.)
“Predators” offers a more premeditated, “Greatest Hits”-type deal: Someone has assembled a group of killers — from the military, special ops, Chechnya, Death Row, a drug cartel, an African death squad, the yakuza, the medical profession — and dumped them on what appears to be another planet as prey for the bloodthirsty aliens. The whole set-up is reminiscent of TV’s “Lost,” only without the repetitive flashbacks and time travel (and the “Predators” cast isn’t quite so pretty).
‘PREDATORS’* Rating: R for violence, gore, language.* Running time: 1 hour, 46 minutes.
Adrien Brody, of all people, plays the defacto leader of the motley group. He’s the special-ops guy, a heartless mercenary destined to show us that he does, in fact, have a soul but probably not until the end of the movie. The Oscar winner (for Roman Polanski’s “The Pianist”) has no business being this good as an action hero, and yet there’s never a moment when he’s less than believable. “Predators” boasts a more talented cast overall than the original movie had, including Walton Goggins (“The Shield,” “Justified”), Alice Braga (“Repo Men,” “I Am Legend”) and the aforementioned Grace (who plays the doctor, in case you were wondering if he were the guy on the African death squad). They all help keep the goofy, improbable plot spinning, though one could make a compelling case that half the fun of the first movie was laughing at the bad acting.
Little happens that you don’t see coming, down to which cast members will get picked off and in what order.
It’s a dumb action movie in a summer full of dumb movies, and yet it’s always entertaining.
And you won’t really miss Arnold at all.
c. The Miami Herald
EXTRAORDINARY EXTRATERRESTRIAL TERROR
Interested in a heavy dose of extraterrestrial terror? Check out these movies:
* “The War of the Worlds” (1953) and “War of the Worlds” (2005) — H.G. Wells’ 1898 novel is basically the wellspring from which all outer-space terror emerged. This tale of killer Martians who invade Earth has been filmed for both TV and the movies and was adapted by Orson Welles for a 1938 radio broadcast that created a nationwide panic. Both film versions are solid, but the ’50s edition is filled with post-bomb paranoia and won an Oscar for special effects.
* “Alien” (1979) — Any film that features a slime thing popping out of a guy’s chest … Hoo ha! If this isn’t one of the scariest movies of all time, then what is?
* “Aliens” (1986) — Well, maybe this is. Featuring Sigourney Weaver in her Oscar-nominated role as the indomitable Ripley, director James Cameron’s truly creepy flick is that rare thing, a sequel better than the original.
* “The Thing From Another World” (1951) and “The Thing” (1982) — Scientists on an Arctic outpost discover a spaceship that has crash-landed and have to deal with its occupant, a deadly ET. The original is more thoughtful, pitting macho military types against scientists who want to make contact with the visitor. But director John Carpenter’s remake is a glorious bucket of blood, with really gruesome effects.
* “Predator” (1987) — A military team sent to rescue some hostages in the Latin American jungle finds itself stalked by a killer off-world life-form. Features the super-macho cast of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Jesse (“I ain’t got time to bleed”) Ventura.
* “Pitch Black” (2000) — A cargo ship carrying a dangerous criminal is forced to crash-land on a desert planet. When the planet’s three suns go into eclipse, the survivors are attacked by predatory, batlike creatures. Talk about things that go bump in the night.