Top 10 signs you won’t be graduating college
10. You once tried to eat a book.
9. “F” wasn’t bad enough; school added a “G” grade just for you.
8. Campus suggested you get a 30-year mortgage on your dorm room.
7. You’re the only sophomore with tenure.
6. Professors all agree: You’re dumb.
5. When you ask what time graduation is, people just kinda laugh.
4. Most of your freshman class passed away.
3. You form a study group to figure out how to get to the library.
2. Only periodic elements you can name: “sodium” and “low sodium.”
1. Just woke up from a party you went to in October 2008.
Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”