Three Horse
A government social worker was visiting the Indian reservation for the first time.
Over by the store, a woman was yelling up a blue streak at an old Indian man. The man looked like he could use some help. The social worker walked over and broke up the disturbance by pulling the man aside.
“Hey, that lady sure has your number.”
“She’s no lady. She’s my wife.”
“You don’t say. What’s her name?”
“She’s called Three Horse.”
The social worker smiled. “Now that’s a strange name. Three Horse. How did she get a name like that?”
“Nag nag nag.”
Different priorities
She told him they couldn’t afford beer at $25 a case anymore. He would have to quit drinking.
Then the next day he caught her spending $65 on a tiny bottle of makeup.
He asked her how come he had to give up stuff and she didn’t.
She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for him. He told her that wasn’t necessary, that’s what the beer was for, and the beer was 40 bucks cheaper.
He doesn’t think she’s coming back.
Further explanation
The Sunday school teacher was explaining how, when Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom, she turned into a pillar of salt.
Bobby interrupted with his own parable. “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced, “and she turned into a telephone pole.”
Quickie
Q: Why does a tiger have stripes?
A: So he won’t be spotted.
Lot again
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”
His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”
Hard day at work
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down, and all of us had to do our own thinking.”
Frequent funerals
A college student asked to delay taking his final exam because of a funeral.
“No problem,” the professor told him. “You can make it up the following week.”
That week came, and again he couldn’t take the test because of another funeral.
“You’ll have to take the test early next week,” the professor insisted. “I can’t keep postponing it.”
“I’ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told her.
By now the professor was suspicious. “How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?” she asked.
“I don’t know any of these people,” he said. “But I’m the only gravedigger in town.”
Betcha can’t
Two sea monsters are swimming around in the ocean, looking for something to do. Eventually, they swim up to a ship filled with potatoes. Bob, the first sea monster, swims underneath the ship, tips it over and eats everything on board.
A little later, the sea monsters come upon another ship, again hauling potatoes. Bob capsizes that ship too and eats all the cargo.
The third ship they find also is hauling potatoes. Bob once again capsizes it and eats everything.
Finally, his buddy Bill asks him, “Why do you keep tipping over these ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?
Bob replies, “Everyone knows you can’t eat just one potato ship.”