Q: “She really does look fat in that dress. She likes to sing along with the radio but has a terrible voice. Her special family recipe for chicken marsala tastes like a dead woman’s feet. Her friends are irritating. She really needs to shave her legs. Which tack to take: honesty or kindness?” — Anonymous.
A: Wow. Did someone actually write that about their girlfriend, or worse, their wife, and then e-mail it to me for advice?
Yes, I know it’s probably someone just having a little fun with me, but in case this is a real-life cry for help …
Dude, so basically, you’re telling me your girlfriend or wife is a bad cook, bad at in-car karaoke, has friends you find irritating and hairy legs? She sounds like a monster. (Please note the sarcasm.)
I don’t understand why you are with this woman if you are willing to talk about her like that to a stranger. If she’s your girlfriend, please do her and all of us a favor and cut her loose. She deserves better. If she’s your wife, please look into professional counseling. (And how do you know what “a dead woman’s feet” taste like, anyway?)
Everyone has a quirk, or 20, that pushes a loved one, friend or co-worker to the brink. Everyone. Maybe you unconsciously snap, crack and pop gum. Maybe you are incapable of cleaning up after yourself. Or being on time. Or leaving any hot water for anyone else to take a shower.
It’s tricky to know when to live and let live and when to say something about someone’s annoying habits. It gets even trickier when it comes to being honest with your Prince or Princess Charming.
You have to decide whether an annoyance-free life is worth hurting your beloved’s feelings — and possibly having to listen to a litany of your own uber-annoying habits.
If you think your beloved (and you) can handle the truth, by all means, talk it out diplomatically.
If not, you can always resort to creative measures to maintain peace and sanity in your household. She’s a bad cook? Learn to cook. He uses up all the hot water? Get to the shower first. He leaves wet towels on the floor? Put a plastic coach roach underneath one.
It’s easy to get annoyed with someone we spend time with day in and day out. One of the keys to not letting it drive you insane is to remember the 8,000 reasons, and not the few annoying quirks, why you think your Prince or Princess Charming is, well, charming.
Gina Bever is a local public relations professional and woman-about-town. She’s known for providing her friends — male and female — with thousands of hours of free therapy and (asked for) relationship advice.
ASK GINA: Send questions about relationships to Gina at malecall@timesfreepress.com.