Top 10 thoughts going through Harry Smith’s mind during his televised colonoscopy
10. “Ow.”
9. “Good morning, America.”
8. “For those watching in high definition, you’re welcome.”
7. “Found my car keys.”
6. “Now I know how Conan felt.”
5. “Read the card, read the card.”
4. “Not to change the subject, but has Jesse James lost his mind?”
3. “I thought I was signing up for a live interview with Colin Powell.”
2. “You’re watching the Tiffany Network.”
1. “Between me and Letterman, you can’t turn on CBS without seeing (a rump).”
Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”