Giddyup
A U.S. government worker says:
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, our government entities seem to think other factors must be taken into consideration and other strategies often have to be tried with dead horses, including the following.
* Buy a stronger whip.
* Change riders.
* Threaten the horse with termination.
* Appoint a committee to study the horse.
* Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
* Lower the standards so that dead horses can be included.
* Appoint an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse.
* Create a training session to increase the rider’s load share.
* Reclassify the dead horse as “living impaired.”
* Change the form so that it reads “This horse is not dead.”
* Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
* Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
* Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
n Provide additional funding to increase the horse’s performance.
* Do a time-management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
* Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
* Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
* Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
* Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
* Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
In a way
Bill was showing his son, Joe, the family album and came across a photo of him and his wife on their wedding day.
“Was that the day Mommy came to work for us?” Joe asked.
Saddle up
A beginner rider at the stables was trying to saddle a horse.
“Excuse me,” said the old hand, “but you are putting that saddle on backward.”
“How do you know,” snapped the student. “You don’t know which way I’m going.”
Everything’s hazy
A man is waking up from anesthesia after surgery to see his wife sitting by his side. His eyes flutter open, and he says, “You are beautiful.”
Then he falls asleep again. His wife, warmed by the compliment, stays by his side.
A few minutes later, his eyes flutter open again. “You’re cute,” he says, when his gaze falls upon her.
The wife is a little disappointed. “What happened to beautiful?” she says.
He says, “The drugs are wearing off.”
Dust to dust
Harry came home from Sunday school and asked his mother, “Do people really come from dust?”
“In a way,” she said.
“And do they go back to dust?” he continued.
“Yes, in a way,” she replied.
“Well, Mother, I looked under my bed, and somebody’s either coming or going.”