I am wondering if there is a wild, crazy maniac asleep in all of us.
Just the other day, an engineer I have known for many years came up to me and said, “You have always asked me for a song idea. and I have never had one until now. At last I have come up with the perfect song idea.”
Anyone who knows me knows I will do a fire dance for a good song idea. So I was all ears.
“You know that song about twinkle twinkle little star?” He went on. “Well, here’s my idea: Starkle starkle little Twink, how I wonder why you stink.”
He started laughing and lost his breath a couple of times. Gasping for air, he slapped his leg until I worried that he might whip up a blood blister.
I stood there and looked at this guy I thought I knew. Suddenly I realized I had never known him at all. He was indwelled by a hysterical maniac.
The fact that I didn’t laugh didn’t disturb him at all. He kept cackling until we parted, and I could hear a goodbye cackle as he got in his truck and drove off.
I sat at my computer for a long time, just staring at the screen. It takes a while to recover from such an experience. After all, you have just lost the person you thought you knew and know from now on you may have to deal with an out-of-control maniac. You wonder, “Will this inner maniac ever take over his life and attack me?”
A few days later I had made some progress in processing my experience with the engineer when I had a recording session. Mike Headrick owns Mikron Studio in Jasper and I have recorded several CDs with him. One time, I took the famous songwriter Cecil Null (“I’ve Forgot MoreThanYou’ll Ever Know”) to Mikron with me. Driving home he said, “I could not record at that studio. That man never changes his facial expression so you never know how he thinks you are doing,” calling him “Old Stoneface.”
I explained that I like him as an “Old Stoneface” because on those occasions when he does comment on your song or your vocal, it is significant.
As I was getting ready to leave after the session Old Stoneface told me a joke about two Mexicans out in the desert and one of them saying, “I see a bacon tree up ahead. Follow me!”
The other Mexican said, “You fool! It’s just a mirage!”
But the one who thought he saw a bacon tree dragged him toward it and when they got there, he admitted, “It’s just a hambush.”
Old Stoneface cackled hysterically just like the engineer did over “Starkle Starkle Little Twink.” I thought of calling the Jasper Fire Department to hose him down because I was reluctant to leave him doubled up in a fetal position in the floor cackling and gasping. But I knew I had some heavy thinking to do so I left swiftly and silently.
As I left I looked up and saw it was a full moon. Aha! So it was all a full moon thing.
Thank God for full moons.
E-mail Dalton Roberts at DownhomeP@aol.com.