Dalton RobertsToday I propose ways to make a lot of money for the public treasury while at the same time controlling pests. The prophet Hezekiah said, “Any society that allows idiots to toot at will shall be plagued by accidents, aggravation and shall eventually disappear off the face of the earth.”
I have a specific reference to people who are given horns at the same time they are given cars. Cars are to drive safely and sanely. Horns are to blow and are perfectly safe instruments in the hands of intelligent people.
Unfortunately, there is a percentage of our population who ride them like The Lone Ranger rode Silver. They blow them so long and so loud that they completely lose their own sense of hearing and do not hear any of their thoughtless blasts.
Now you could ask 100 people what to do about this problem. Some would propose the death penalty because there are people who think everybody should be killed but themselves. I am not one of those. I think a few people should be spared.
Part of my plan is prevention. Anybody caught needlessly tooting at their cousin crossing the street in front of them or at a car that moves a little slower than they wish should be required to go to tooting class. Whenever they start any activity that they love — like talking to a friend on the passenger side or listening to Willie Nelson singing “Stardust,” a blast of horns will be loosed on them. It will continue for 30 seconds unabated or until tears appear in their eyes.