Dave Letterman’s Top 10
Top 10 signs you’ve hired a bad Easter Bunny(from 1998 archives)10. For an Easter bunny, he sure has a lot of stories about being in prison.9. With every hop, his bunny pants drop another inch.8. He’s in his bunny suit ready to go – and it’s October.7. Brags that he’s starring in own sitcom on the WB called “Bunny Bunny.”6. When asked why there’s a hole in the bottom of his suit, he says, “Them eggs don’t lay themselves.”5. He shows up wearing his Arby’s uniform and asks the kids to just “play along.”4. His “tail” is just flounced up back hair.3. He’s Jewish.2. Cuts off his own foot, gives it to you saying, “This will bring you good luck.”1. Two words: three ears.Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”
Postmortem
A guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbors’ pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead, and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbors’ house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the man of the house is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”