Dave Letterman’s Top 10Top 10 little-known departments at Walmart:10. Gay Pet Food9. Big & Tall Baby8. Men’s Lingerie7. Flooring and Ceilinging6. Shower & Tub Camcorders5. Loungewear for Clergy4. Kmart Knockoffs3. Single-Use Furniture2. Sarcastic Jets Fan Gear1. Tools for Tools
Know your place
Remember the old insurance company message “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there”?
A vendor at Merchants on Main has a similar, but better, sign. It reads: “Like a good neighbor, stay over there.”
Opinions
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. It read: ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”
Something’s missing
A mom was driving with her three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of them stood up and waved. She was stark naked. As mom reeled from the shock, her 5-year-old shouted from the back seat, “Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seatbelt!”