Testosterone-fueled tribute to ‘all things manly’ coming up this weekend

The Chattanooga area’s manliest men can take a break from wrestling grizzlies and uprooting trees with their bare hands Saturday, June 26, as the Times Free Press presents the second annual Man Xpo.

Yes, that’s how it’s spelled. This is a day so macho it muscled off that wimpy “e” for a sturdy, strapping “X.”

This testosterone-fueled tribute to “all things manly” gets underway at 11 a.m. at not one but two locations – one literally the size of a football field – giving manly men sufficient room to walk around in their most natural bearing.

What’s that, you ask? What is a manly man’s “natural bearing”? From a woman’s perspective, the manly man stance looks something like this: legs lined up wide beneath his shoulders, barrel chest held high, arms akimbo. Manly men would agree with most of that, but they wouldn’t use the word “akimbo.”

We’ll give you some highlights of the day, of course, but we won’t go on and on about it here. We know how you manly men hate that.

Instead, we’ll suffice with 12 key phrases likely to get your attention (yes, we know there are other ways to get your attention, but this is a family-friendly event).

On our list of Main Attractions for Manly Men are:

* Golf.

* NASCAR.

* Fishing.

* Beer.

* Football.

* Tools.

* Weapons.

* Obstacle course.

* Cars.

* Trucks.

* Motorcycles.

* Boats.

* Oh, let’s add one more: Food. A man’s gotta eat.

Wives, mothers and significant others are invited too, as are the kids. There’ll be music all day, video games to play, a fishing pond, UTC Catch a Punt, the Dr Pepper 10 Challenge and a Krystal eating competition between area first responders.