Well, we come back from Disney and the various police departments around the tri-state area have somehow mangled the words to the “Cops” theme song.
It’s “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do,” gang, and it refers to the criminals, not the officers.
There’s the revolving chief’s chair in Cleveland, after Dennis Maddux was ousted after roughly 24 hours on the job when he got caught meeting with one of the other officers’ wives.
Jay GreesonIt’s a tough blow, too, since he was going to introduce some new slogans around the department to generate good will.
Sadly, though, “Cleveland PD: Badges on, pants off” never got the chance to generate any meaningful momentum.
Then comes news from Catoosa County that the ol’ disappearing camera trick has made prosecuting a state representative’s brother on a meth arrest more difficult.
Oh, the coincidences.
Trafficking navigation
While we have a certain fondness for the idea and design of the roundabout — the idea of keeping moving seems better than stopping when it comes to easing traffic, and don’t we all hate the all-too-common delayed pause of “You go,” “No you,” — the pitch off having one combining Third and Fourth streets seems odd.
First, that close to a school means buses will be going roundabout. Second, how will ambulances be rounding about?
Third, the path to full-blown roundabout seems more rocky than rounded.
And isn’t there an old-school Lewis Grizzard-like joke here?
“Hey, pal, when is the project going to be finished?”
“Oh, round about a few years. Maybe.”
Yep, deep in the heart
Speaking of traditional Southern humor, man, we can load the barrels of comedians everywhere, can’t we?
OK, we had a real-life moonshine bust in East Brainerd this week. It was at the home of a Heather Greeson — no relation — and there was actual product on the premises. She told authorities that her boyfriend was responsible — never mind that he reportedly has been in the pokey since January.
Uncle Jesse and Crazy Cooter were unavailable for comment.
Not to be outdone, down on the Redneck Riviera there was a “church” called the The Life Center: A Spiritual Community that has been hosting a daily party/worship service that included pajama and lingerie slumber parties and an event called “Wet ‘n’ Wild” that was described as “White Water meets Tabernacle PCB with a little twerkin'” in Panama City Beach, Fla.
Buckets. We’re pretty sure doing the Lord’s twerk was not part of the mission, you know?
The “church,” which accepts $20 donations from members/partygoers at the door, recently lost its tax-exempt status and likely will be the topic of local government types.
Man, that’s some really New Testament-type stuff. And, as always, remember to tithe the waitresses before you go.
Bebe, checking into cash-strapped
Hmmm, even as a last option the winning-the-lottery plan seems like a poor debt-management plan.
That’s what Walker County Commissioner Bebe Heiskell jokingly offered as her county government’s way out of a looming seven-figure loan that comes due at the end of the year. There had been talk of creating a new arm of the government that could issue bonds and generate revenue without voter approval, and kudos to Rep. Steve Tarvin, R-Chickamauga, for not making the matter worse by offering the opportunity for future disasters with a non-elected group with revenue-generating and bond-issuing power.
So Heiskill, as she told this paper’s Tyler Jett this week, is “playing life by ear and doing the best I can.”
Here’s guessing Allan Jones will make you a fine offer on a short-term loan, Bebe.
Contact Jay Greeson at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6343. Follow him on Twitter at jgreeson@timesfreepress.com.
His “Right to the Point” column appears on A2 Monday, Thursday and Saturday, and his sports columns run Tuesday and Friday. Read his online column “The 5-at-10” Monday through Friday starting at 10 a.m. at timesfreepress.com.