I have to figure it is not just us — “us” being my wife and I. There simply must be others out there who hear things that were said very differently from the way they actually were said.
It seems that, quite often, I will hear Dana say something, all the words sound incredibly clear, and yet the content of those words is strange enough to assure me that I have either somehow “misheard” or my wife has somehow “misspoken.”
“I need to find a good shower app.”
That is what I heard my dear wife say a few nights ago. And to compound the problem, she was laying beside me in bed, looking at her cellphone when she said it. Thus, the combination of hearing and seeing seemed to elevate an utterly impossible phrase to the level of seeming plausibility.
Wagner to preach at Temple Baptist
Pastor Bo Wagner will be in the Chattanooga area this month. On March 22, he is preaching at Temple Baptist Church, 3204 Clio Ave., in Chattanooga, and from March 23-26 he’ll be at the Bible Baptist Church Jubilee, 126 Talley Ave. in Rossville, Ga. For information on both appearances, go to templechattanooga.com or biblebaptistchurchrossville.com.
I sat silent for a few seconds, trying to decide if I should say anything. Maybe it would make more sense for me just to nod knowingly and give a husbandly “Mmm hmm” to my techno-genius wife rather than risk her once again having to shake her head at my techno-illiteracy. After all, there are apps that predict the weather, guide you on cross country trips, teach you to speak Mandarin Chinese and inform you whether or not you have hardening of the arteries, so why not a shower app?
Finally, though, the suspense got too great for me.
“I am sure you could not have actually said this, but I just heard you say, ‘I need to find a good shower app.'”
There are fits of laughter, and then there are the times when it gets so bad that she actually snorts at me. She rolled, she shook, she cried, she snorted, she laughed hysterically while holding the phone over her head and pretending to shower under it.
I am still not sure what she actually said; she seems to have lost it in all of the laughing. But both of us are quite sure that she said one thing, and I heard something completely different. Fortunately, this was something that I could afford to misunderstand since no harm would come from it.
But there are things that have been said that we cannot afford to misunderstand, since incredible harm could come from making any mistake concerning them. Here are just a few:
* Matthew 25:41: “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”
* John 14:6: “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
* John 3:3: “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”
Eternity is too serious of a subject to make any mistakes about, and Jesus was clear that he is the only way. If you would like to know more, drop me an email, I would love to help. In the meantime, I am going to go look for a wife-translation app.
Bo Wagner is pastor of the Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, N.C., and the author of several books which are available at wordofhismouth.com. Contact him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.